We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Dave Barry

Most Shared Quotes

Eric Burdon I was in college, and very disappointed. I majored in commercial art and interior design for three or four years. At that time, it seemed the thing I really wanted to do, production design, just wasn't available in the U.K., so I turned to music.
Stokely Carmichael We were aware of the fact that death walks hand in hand with struggle.
Martin Luther King, Jr. It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.
Rick Perry My deal is have a flat, simple tax. And - Americans want - Americans I hope - aspire to be - be wealthy. I hope they aspire to have a better quality of life. And we have this class warfare that's going on now. And I don't agree with that. I'm interested in people getting to work.
Bernard Cornwell Book tours and research provide a lot of travel - too much, I sometimes think, but we do take vacations.
Samantha Bee I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children's birthdays too.
Candice Bergen Though beauty gives you a weird sense of entitlement, it's rather frightening and threatening to have others ascribe such importance to something you know you're just renting for a while.
Hillary Clinton The challenge is to practice politics as the art of making what appears to be impossible, possible.
Will Rogers Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Hugh Jackman My gosh, I love food. If I wasn't an actor, I could be a completely different body shape right now.
Thomas A. Edison Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Sidney Poitier History passes the final judgment.
James Cameron I love short trips to New York to me it is the finest three-day town on earth.
John Sterling Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
Burt Lancaster I found marriage somewhat stifling. I don't know that I am the kind of man who ought to be married.
Edith Wharton Old age, calm, expanded, broad with the haughty breadth of the universe, old age flowing free with the delicious near-by freedom of death.
Nina Simone I don't like rap music at all. I don't think it's music. It's just a beat and rapping.
Andy Murray In tennis, it is not the opponent you fear, it is the failure itself, knowing how near you were but just out of reach.
Ron Jaworski Positive thinking is the key to success in business, education, pro football, anything that you can mention. I go out there thinking that I'm going to complete every pass.
Macaulay Culkin Most of the offers I get from Hollywood are for teen comedies. My manager thinks I'm crazy for turning down all that money, but I'm very picky.

Dave Barry

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