I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Steven Wright

Most Shared Quotes

Margaret Thatcher I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Miguel Angel Ruiz Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time.
Anna Quindlen The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
Oded Fehr I did my military service from 1989 - 92 and I was never shot at or had to fire on anybody. I was very lucky. I was more involved in intelligence and counter-intelligence.
Bill Kreutzmann My dad loved black singers. So listening to New Orleans music, eventually I wanted to play an instrument.
Ramakrishna Travel in all the four quarters of the earth, yet you will find nothing anywhere. Whatever there is, is only here.
Swami Vivekananda The moment I have realized God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free.
Alexander Hamilton Nobody expects to trust his body overmuch after the age of fifty.
Horace Walpole I avoid talking before the youth of the age as I would dancing before them: for if one's tongue don't move in the steps of the day, and thinks to please by its old graces, it is only an object of ridicule.
Phillips Brooks Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.
Lucy Maud Montgomery We must have ideals and try to live up to them, even if we never quite succeed. Life would be a sorry business without them. With them it's grand and great.
Max Muller Of these years nought remains in memory but the sad feeling that we have advanced and only grown older.
Sammy Davis, Jr. I wasn't anything special as a father. But I loved them and they knew it.
Dieter Rams Good design is making something intelligible and memorable. Great design is making something memorable and meaningful.
Marilyn Monroe Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn't that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you.
Rowan Atkinson In the modern media age we are rarely surprised by what we see. Whether it's on television or film or in the theatre, everything is so advertised, so trailed, that most entertainment is merely what you thought it was going to be like.
Henry Cuellar We intend to keep the lines of communication open with the Defense Department so we can help our border law enforcement agencies navigate the equipment application process.
Alton Brown I know people that could serve me canned tuna and saltine crackers and have me feel more at home at their table than some people who can cook circles around me. The more you try to impress people, generally the less you do.
George Bernard Shaw The best place to find God is in a garden. You can dig for him there.
David Limbaugh Some of the reasons John McCain lost in 2008 were his lackluster campaign, his refusal to showcase Obama's extreme liberalism and, thus, his failure to demonstrate why he would make a better president than Obama.
Pet

Steven Wright

by admin time to read: <1 min
0